Felix Dennis

                    When
                fully erect
             the average dick
           stands at five and a
         bit inches tall.  I have
            no    information
            to   call  on   how
            thick    such      a
            hypothetical dick
            might       sprawl;
            still, taking a rule
            of thumb and all
            and adding a tad,
            robbing      Peter
            for               Paul,
            allowing for over
            achievers         in
            Gaul   and     the
            pythons that lurk
            in   the  halls   of
            Nepal,   ignoring
            what's   scrawled
            upon      lavatory
            walls             and
            omitting     those
            eunuchs    whose
            data  appals,      I
            submit......having
            taken  the matter
            in hand.......upon
            measuring    half
            an  inch  up from
            the balls, this is it!