Felix Dennis

Felix Dennis, Poet, Publisher and Tree Planter

Gulliver Sneesby

Gulliver Sneesby, child of shame,
Deplored that he was born a fella,
He tried and tried to change his name
  To Isabella.

Gulliver played the bore at large,
  A feminist in tyrant's clothing;
He wore his zeal to camouflage
  His own self-loathing.

Gulliver wrestled, wracked with guilt,
   Tormented by debased desires;
He fatasized himself rebuilt, 
   With surgeon's pliers.

Gulliver scoured the dictionary
   While etymologists debated,
He wanted half OED
   To be castrated.

Gulliver sneered at marriage vows,
   As 'sexist tricks to chain and fetter',
He sighed for those pathetic cows
   Who knew nno better.

Gulliver Sneesby, mother's son,
  A prophet who gained little credit;
He wrote a tome that weighed a ton,
  But no-one read it.
“Apologies to Edward Arlington Robinson and his masterpiece, Miniver Cheevy. Whenever I am down, I only have to think of the lines: "he missed the medieval grace / Of iron clothing" to put me to rights. I must appologise, too, to Guy Sneesby, the internet genius at Dennis Interactive in London. Guy is absolutely nothing like the wretch described above, but I simply could not resist using his family name. (Note: OED: The Oxford English Dictionary. The 'definitive historical dictionary of the English language')
Poem Published in the following books: A Glass Half Full  

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