The Politician This talking head is:‘Quote, unquote: A testament to dental art’— Let’s slip a skewer down its throat And snack upon its shrivelled heart. The Newsreader The late night news, all wit and charm, Here’s every viewer’s trusted friend — What say we both yank off an arm And marinade the sticky end? The Celebrity Homemaker Here’s Martha Stewart, hip hurrah, Who’s still the queen of cookery — Let’s shred her into steak tartar And scoff it while we watch TV. Soap Opera Stars That rotter Dick has jilted Sasch‘ For some young tart— I knew he would, A slice-and-dice will fi x their hash: Say mad-cow roast and cheesecake pud? The Sports Commentator A rerun of the Superbowl! Fresh booby pie with steroid sauce — On second thoughts —a casserole! And pompoms for the second course! The Cartoon Old Mickey Mouse on Medicare, Long past his prime, I’ll pass on that — It’s not exactly gourmet fare, He’s barely fi t to feed the cat. The Chat Show Diva At last, it’s Oprah! Fetch the bibs, The charcoal grill, the mesquite wood — There nothing spare about those ribs, She’ll feed the whole damn neighbourhood!
Poem Published in the following books: Nursery Rhymes For Modern Times